


Cold hands

by Block9



Category: Killing Eve (TV 2018)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-19
Updated: 2019-07-26
Packaged: 2020-07-08 21:56:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19876711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Block9/pseuds/Block9
Summary: Villanelle has a new handler. It's a woman.





	1. Not in front of my salad

**Author's Note:**

> Imagine Charlie is played by Phoebe Waller-Bridge

"Again? I have to do this again?'' Villanelle thought to herself, as she sipped whiskey with a bitter frown on her face. She hates hard liquor, but it's just one of those shitty situations where you have no alternatives. So she's in a bar, somewhere in Milan, drinking her problems away. The space is crowded with people, lots of elegant beautiful women, but she couldn't care less. Because she just shot the love of her life. Who will never forgive her. She ruined everything. But maybe it's for the best. After all, Eve is a coward. A coward who left her. Left their future. And for what? Boredom. Boring job. Boring life. Mustache on a fudge husband. She doesn't deserve Villanelle.

Yes, it's time for a new beginning. Or re-installment of her old life. Whatever, it was time for change. So she finished her 4th shot of whiskey and went to the train station. She bought a one-way ticket to Paris on the night train. Before falling asleep in her seat she texted Konstantin.

_I decided not to kill you and your family after all..._

_Partner_

_Call me tomorrow_

_Vx_

She was still angry with him, but she wanted her old job back, so she decided to temporarily forgive him. She might shoot him later though. And with that thought she fell asleep very peacefully.

\-------------------------------------------------------

She missed the smell of Parisian streets. A mixture of urine and perfume. Bittersweet, like life itself. She decided to walk from the train station instead of taking a taxi. It was a beautiful sunny morning. And she was free as a bird.

First stop: Coffee shop.

A large cappuccino and croissant for breakfast, as usual. She hated England and its shitty food. She took the opportunity to google some real estate agencies on her phone. She needed a place to stay asap. But for now she'll have to improvise.

Second stop: Boutiques.

Her second (if not first) life necessity was clothes. So she spent three hours shopping , for therapeutic and aesthetic reasons. Eight bags in total.

Third stop: Hotel.

She really needed to wash herself, as she haven't showered in 48 hours. So she went to an old hotel that still has pre-war bathtubs and soaked for two hours, followed by a four hour nap on the king sized bed.

*Konstantin often commented that Villanelle is like a cat, she's ether hunting, cleaning herself or sleeping.

Fourth stop: Women.

As usual, she went out and found herself two women to bring home with her. And they satisfied her well. As she was lying between their sleeping bodies she thought to herself that she finally cleared her pallet after Eve. She was finally her old self and she got her life back on track.

And of course, with that thought, she challenged the universe.

Because tomorrow, everything started going to shit.

\------------------------------------------

At first things seemed well. Konstantin called her on the phone, they argued for about 10 minutes, after which he gave her the info on her new target.

A middle aged banker. How boring, she concluded. But the bills aren't going to pay themselves, so she headed to his bank, to start surveying him. It was a gigantic building made of glass. There were golden statues in the lobby. If this building was a person, it would be Marie Antoinette.

She really liked her target's suit. It was obvious he was a man of taste. Everything on him was beautiful and expensive. Too bad she has to kill him. She decided to find a less violent way to do it because she doesn't want to ruin a perfectly tailored suit. _That_ would be a true crime.

With that thought, she went on her well deserved lunch brake to a bistro nearby. It was warm enough so she sat outside. Just salad for her today, she's trying to lose some weight. Since she's eating light, she can treat herself with a glass of wine. Or two. Or three. As she was starting to get tipsy her guard was slightly down. And that is when she got company at the table.

"Try the clams, they're to die for'' An odd looking woman has occupied the chair on the opposite side of Villanelle's table and was now offering her food tips, in a thick British accent. She was overly tall, skinny and confident, Villanelle noticed. But at the same time, she looked like she did not take herself seriously. Like a child trapped in a grownup's body. Her dark eyes were mischievous. And so was her smile. For a second Villanelle thought she was giving her a dirty look.

Her clothes were a disaster. Oversized men's coat in the most hideous shade of grey. Underneath it a cheap black top. Her pants were probably a disaster too. Still there was something annoyingly charming about this intruder.

Villanelle wasted no time. She grabbed a knife from the table and pressed it against the woman's neck.

"You are very rude'' she growled through her teeth. "You are interrupting my lunch"

The woman raised her hands in the air with a huge smile on her face. "Wow, easy tiger. I just wanted to offer you a piece of advice. No need for...excessive violence''

There was that look again. Piercing, playful, inquisitive. And dirty. Villanelle was offended. How dare she interrupt her meal and look at her like that. Right in front of her salad.

"Who are you?'' Villanelle was still holding the knife.

"My name is Charlie. I'm your new handler. Lovely to meet you" She pulled the knife out of Villanelle's hand and then shook her hand. The smile on her face said she was genuinely happy to meet Villanelle.

Villanelle, on the other hand, was frozen in shock. Her mouth was open and she couldn't speak.

Charlie took a bite of Villanelle's pizza bread.

"What? What do you mean a handler? I don't work for the Twelve anymore, as they are trying to kill me!" She raised her voice slightly because she felt like she was losing touch with reality and this was a bad dream.

Charlie was still smiling. It's like she's an annoying ray of sunshine. "Well I have good news. There were some minor management changes in the organization so you're on the white list again. White is for 'your life will not be terminated'. So I am offering you your job back. If you still want it".

She was now casually eating Villanelle's salad.

"Just like that?'' Villanelle was rightfully suspicious. These people tried to kill her on numerous occasions.

"Just like that. We desperately need your services. You see, there aren't many good assassins left out there. Because they end up dead sooner or later. We need someone we can relay on, long-term".

Villanelle was still not convinced. She needed to think, fast. And Charlie was perfectly aware of her thoughts.

"Look, as a sign of good will, we will not kill Eve. Even though she killed one of our men. You will also get your old apartment back, with rent paid one year in advance. Unfortunately miss Tattevin is permanently dead so we can't bring her back. But I will make sure your fridge is full of champagne and your clothes are back in the closet".

She finished the salad and was now pouring herself a glass of wine.

"And will you be eating my food as well?" Villanelle couldn't get passed this woman's arrogance.

"Oh I'm so sorry, I didn't have time to eat today. Let me pay for lunch".

She pulled out some wrinkled euros from her pocket and laid them on the table gently. Then she lit up a cigarette and grabbed the wine glass. She was completely carefree, enjoying the sun on her pale British face with her eyes shut.

"Why are you so nice to me? Are you trying to sleep with me?" Villanelle was genuinely puzzled.

Charlie grinned. "I don't mix business with pleasure. Besides, my sins are of another nature". She took a huge sip of wine and inhaled the smoke as much as possible.

"Such as?'' Villanelle was slightly intrigued.

"Gambling. Drugs, occasionally. Alcohol. Basically everything that brings me joy without killing me directly"

"You are disgusting'' Villanelle grunted.

"And you sound just like my mother"

Charlie didn't take the insult seriously, as she didn't take life seriously as well. She was going through her pockets trying to find her car keys when she accidentally dropped a police ID on the table, along with some rubbish. The ID had her picture on it and it said inspecteur Charlie Morgan.

"You're also a cop??" This was too much for Villanelle for one day.

"That's my biggest sin probably" She finally found the keys and lit another cigarette."Meet me tomorrow at the Hippodrome at noon. I will bring your new passport, money and the new key to your apartment" She sounded so serious when she spoke about work.

"Why are we meeting at the Hippodrome? Can't we just meet here again?"

"Because I invested some money on a horse race. It will be fun, I promise". She gave Villanelle her most charming smile while putting on Ray Bans and standing up to leave.

Villanelle could now confirm that she was in fact freakishly tall. And very fit. Like, insanely fit. Exceptional physiognomy.

She was about to leave but then stopped and turned around to face Villanelle."You shouldn't be on a diet if you ask me. You look perfect" She sounded honest. For the first time.

And then she was gone. Villanelle watched her as she strolled down the street. She walked funny.

Villanelle called Konstantin immediately, to see what the hell was going on. Turns out it was all true. Konstantin knew about it in Rome, but wasn't allowed to say anything until now. Which meant she was stuck with this hideously dressed cop. And she was so close to having her perfect life back. Now she will have to put up with ugly jackets, smoke, and ambiguous looks.

Villanelle considered killing her, but that would probably bring another Raymond in her life, so she decided to quit on the idea.

She went back to the hotel and took a long nap. It's been a stressful day.

Charlie was in one of her dreams. They were running down a hill while holding hands and laughing. Villanelle wondered about the symbolism of that dream. It's not like she liked her or anything.

But then Villanelle remembered that every woman she was ever attracted to wore ugly jackets. There must be something there.


	2. Naked women with large breasts

Villanelle spent the entire morning trying out clothes. She wanted to look perfect. After all, it was her first day on the old job.

She was at the Hippodrome 15 minutes before noon. Looking like a million dollars, some would say.

And at noon, Charlie was nowhere to be found. Villanelle was getting upset because this woman was wasting her time. So unprofessional.

Finally at 12:30 there she was. Messy hair, sunglasses, wrinkled clothes. She obviously didn't sleep at home. More precisely, she looked like she didn't sleep in a bed.

"You're late", Villanelle hissed at her. "Never do that again". She tried to intimidate her by giving her her finest psycho look, but Charlie didn't seem to catch that. She looked like she was about to throw up, or even worse, faint.

"Sorry darling, rough night". She kissed Villanelle on the cheek and then proceeded straight to the bar. ''Would you like some orange juice?"

Villanelle could not believe this woman. She was speechless.

"Right, let's have a seat by the window" As they were seated she started pulling out some wrinkled notes from her pockets.

"What are those?" Villanelle was impatient.

"Oh just some notes on the races. I invested a lot of money in these horses".

Her forehead was wrinkled.

"Is that why you work for the Twelve, so you can cover your gambling debts?"

"Who says I'm in debt?" Charlie lifted an eyebrow and made some very loud noises while drinking the orange juice with a straw.

"You are a very strange person'' Villanelle crossed her hands and gave Charlie a very judgemental look.

''Hey at least I don't kill people for a living" Charlie wanted to make a joke, but Villanelle was having non of it.

''Can you please give me my things so I can go? This place is disgusting"

Charlie pulled a massive envelope from her ugly grey coat and handed it to Villanelle.

"There's everything you might need in the beginning. Money, sim cards, passport, ID, keys. There is also my contact info. If you need anything else just ping me. I mean, if you need something professionally" She played with the straw with her tongue.

"I don't think you can give me what I need" Villanelle squinted.

"I don't think you know what you need".

"And you do?" Villanelle sounded very defensive.

Charlie was silent for a few moments. She looked so serious, yet there was something tender in her eyes.

"I know a lot about you Oksana".

"Don't mention that name!" Villanelle could not believe how easily this woman messed with her head.

"Don't worry. Your past is safe with me, I won't tell a soul. Especially about that time you accidentally pooped in your neighbor's pool when you were nine"

"How do you even..."

Charlie smiled mischievously and then went straight to the buffet. Somehow she was always hungry.

Villanelle did not like the course of this conversation. So she decided to collect her things and leave. While she was on her way to the door she greeted Charlie with a ''I hope you choke on pastries".

What a rude woman, bringing up her biggest childhood embarrassment like that.

________________________________________________________________________________

Villanelle was finally back in her old apartment. She missed it so much. Finally, something worthy of her.

Charlie kept her word, the fridge was full of champagne. But she did not want to think about that annoying woman. She had work to do.

She decided to paint her bedroom, to fresh it up a little bit. It needed a makeover after what happened a couple of months ago. It reminded her of Eve and the stabbing too much.

So she spent the next couple of days painting while dancing to Madonna's greatest hits in her underwear.

And one day, as she was singing along to "Like a virgin'', she heard a doorbell.

Instinctively she grabbed a knife and walked slowly to the door. What she saw through the peephole annoyed her and also made her stomach feel funny. It was Charlie.

Villanelle opened the door and greeted Charlie with a ''I thought I smelled a pig"

Charlie smiled. She loved Villanelle's sense of humor.

"I just thought I'd bring a house warming gift. You know, professionally" She handed Villanelle a medium sized cardboard box.

Villanelle looked at it like it was a box full of crap.

"What is it?" She asked with a disgusted face.

"It's a home popcorn machine. Because I know that you like movies" Charlie smiled and looked utterly excited.

Especially when she looked up an down Villanelle's body, who was still in her underwear, heavily covered with paint spots.

Again there was that funny feeling in Villenelle's stomach.

She quickly grabbed a robe to cover herself.

"Is there anything else you need?" She decided to give Charlie a very direct, aggressively flirtatious look, hoping she would get scared and leave. She knew the effect she had on people.

But, it seemed to have the opposite effect. Charlie looked intrigued, like she wanted to play the game despite knowing she would probably lose.

Then Villanelle remembered. This woman was a born gambler. There's no way of reasoning with her, as she seems to love to fight the odds.

So Villanelle rolled her eyes and offered Charlie to come in.

"Please take that ugly jacket off, it's bumming me out". She advised her as she headed to the kitchen.

She came back carrying a champagne bottle and two glasses.

Charlie made herself comfortable on the sofa. Without the oversized jacket she looked quite attractive. Her body was so lean she looked like a model. For a second Villanelle felt the need to touch her. Luckily she managed to brush off that thought without Charlie noticing her facial expression.

"So, you're redecorating'' Charlie was looking around the apartment that now looked like a complete mess.

Villanelle passed her a glass of champagne and seated herself on a chair as far away as possible from Charlie.

"Yes. I'm doing a makeover'' She sounded so proud of herself.

"That's a lovely shade of red" Charlie smiled as she pointed at Villanelle's nose. There were paint spots on it.

That detail completely ruined Villanelle's attempt of looking superior. She started rubbing her nose with her fingers to take the paint off.

Charlie fought really hard not to laugh.

"Why are you even here?" Villanelle was losing her patience with this woman.

"I told you, I just wanted to bring you a house worming gift. And to see if you settled in" She finished her champagne in one sip. Then she stood up and did a little stroll around the apartment. Villanelle followed her with her eyes. She stopped in front of a painting of a naked woman. She placed her hands in her pockets and tilted her head a little bit. Like she was inspecting the woman's nipples.

Then she turned to Villanelle and said ''Seems like we have the same taste in art. I also like naked women with large breasts"

Villanelle showed no reaction. But she had many in her lower abdomen.

"Right, look at the time, I better be on my way.'' It was like Charlie accidentally remembered she has to go to work. She quietly grabbed her ugly jacket and started walking towards the door. Villanelle was right behind her because she wanted to see her out as soon as possible.

Charlie reached for the doorknob, then turned around and said ''Welcome back to Paris Villanelle. I hope you find what you are looking for". Her eyes were so deep. Like she was looking straight through Villanelle.

When she was finally gone Villanelle went to have a shower as she was still dirty from the paint. She had to rub really hard to remove all the spots. While she was washing her chest she remembered Charlie's comment about art. Then she closed her eyes and imagined Charlie touching her breasts. It felt so good. Then she opened her eyes and felt guilty because she hated Charlie. She decided to finish the shower without masturbating this time.

Because she knew who she would be thinking about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea where this is going :)


	3. Lemon drizzle and a gun

The river Seine is the heart and soul of Paris. It's where you feel peaceful and wide awake at the same time. In Villanelle's case, it's where you go to kill someone on a Wednesday afternoon.

She finally decided to kill the banker Konstantin assigned to her. Because she newer quits a job. Never ever.  
She also found a way to kill him without ruining his perfect suit. Solution: kill him on the beach while he's in a bathing suit.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Seine's shore is covered with sand during summer months and these small beaches are the perfect getaway from the city rush.  
They're also full of middle aged businessmen looking to hookup with young girls in bikinis. And her banker is no different. He even brought his dog to the beach, knowing well the girls would approach to pet him because he was unbelievably cute.  
The dog is also the key factor in this murder.

Villanelle arrived at the beach around 5pm, accompanied by a female poodle. To make sure she was unnoticeable she wore an outdated swimsuit that did not complement her body. She felt physical pain looking at the mirror earlier that day. It was a "grandma" model. She also had a large pair of prescription glasses.

She went to the very edge of the bank, accompanied by her dog, pretending to look at the ducks in the water.

As planned, the banker's dog was immediately interested in the poodle, so he approached them with a waggly tail while the banker was chatting with a young blond.

It was a very cute dog, Villanelle noticed. Then she pushed him into the water with her foot.

Luckily the dog was a good swimmer so he managed to get to the stairway on the bank 20 meters downstream.

The banker however was not that lucky. When he heard his dog barking from the water he panicked and jumped straight in to rescue him.

What he didn't know was that the dog was capable of rescuing himself. He also forgot about his inborn heart condition. The jump in the freezing water gave him cardiac arrest.

Villanelle watched as two young men fished him out of the water. They tried giving him CPR but he was not breathing. When the paramedics arrived they could only proclaim death.

The crowd was visibly shaken. Especially the banker's dog, who managed to get out of the water on his own, and was now looking at his deceased owner with a confused look on his face.

Villanelle hugged her poodle tight and put on a large hat made of hay. The job was finished so she can go home and return the dog to the neighbor from whom she stole it.

It was also the exact moment the police arrived at the scene.

There were two patrol cars and one black Citroen up on the road. A man came out of the black car. And then a woman. A tall, dark haired woman.

Villanelle's stomach flinched. It was Charlie.

And Villanelle was in a grandma swimsuit, hugging a poodle , overall looking like she ran away from a mental institution. It was not her best appearance.

There was a voice of vanity in her head, telling her she can not let Charlie see her looking like this. It was stupid really because it was pretty clear she was in disguise for work purposes. But still...part of her didn't want Charlie to think she was unattractive.

So she tried leaving the beach discreetly but it was too late, the police wouldn't let anyone leave before giving a statement. So she decided to give the statement as soon as possible and then leave unnoticed.

She was hiding under her large hat when she heard Charlie's cheerful voice beside her.

"I would recognize those legs anywhere you know".

Oh no.

Villanelle looked up at Charlie and whispered through her teeth "What are you doing here?''

"It's my job, remember. I'm a police officer" she sounded like there was something funny about it. "What are _you_ doing here? And what on earth are you _wearing_?'' She looked like she genuinely enjoyed Villanelle's look.

"I was on an assignment. The dead guy was my target. Now can you please let me go''

Charlie looked amused.

''You can go. But promise me one thing."

"What?"

''Promise you'll keep the swimsuit''

"You are sick''

"And your dog is trying to pee on one of my officers''

Villanelle turned around. Charlie was right. The poodle was peeing on the policeman's shoe.

"We kind of feel the same about the officers of the law''

''Does that mean you would like to pee on me?" Charlie grinned.

Villanelle was not amused.

"I'm leaving. And let's pretend this day never happened''

She took the dog and headed towards the road.

The poodle started barking in protest. Villanelle put the dog in her beach bag to shut her up. She now looked like a proper crazy dog lady. And she hoped to God that Charlie wasn't looking. When she turned around to check Charlie waved at her.

Damn it!

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

While she was soaking in the tub that evening she heard a buzzing sound. It was a text from Konstantin.

_How did it go?_

Her hands were wet so she just typed one word.

_Finished_

Then there was another buzz. It was Charlie.

_We have a target. Meet me tomorrow at the Kalinka restaurant, Rue de Trévise , 9pm_

Villanelle made a face. She hated that place. They served shitty Russian food.

_Why there?_

...

_I'm craving Russian_

...

_The food is shit at Kalinka. I will make you real Russian food._

...

_You'd do that??_

...

_Of course. I would love to give you food poisoning._

...

_It's a date then!  
_

...

_I was joking I am not going to cook for you_

...

_So we're having shitty food at Kalinka then  
_

...

_Fine...I will make something. But only because I hate shitty food._

...

_Fantastic! What kind of wine should I bring?_

...

_Bring Vodka. Wine is too weak for Russian food._

...

_Alright then. And what do you usually have for dessert?_

...

_A round of Russian roulette_

_..._

_..._

_I'll bring lemon drizzle and a gun then_

....

_9pm. Don't be late. And no ugly jackets this time._

...

_There are more subtle ways to undress me you know_

Villanelle rolled her eyes. This woman is a like a rash.

A rash she desperately wants to scratch. But she can't. Because once you scratch it you can't stop yourself can you?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No dogs were harmed in this chapter.

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my first language, so excuse my grammatical errors I really tried fixing them all.


End file.
